I know
by KujakuValentine
Summary: Duo's sister has gone through a few 'things' and now that she's out of the militairy she has no one to talk to. Trowa ends up learning about her tainted past and finds out that he's not as alone as he thought he was. Kinda flufy. Song Fic


A/N: YEY! Another one I wanted to incorporate that they help each other and that I've been thinking a lot about him lately. I love you master! This is a TBxTM Fluffy story! YEY! It's really sad! But you have to read it. Warning though, I did kind of talk about Trowas child hood and what happened to him and what happened to Troae, so if you kind think…guck.. then maybe you won't want to read it. P.S. I decided to write this at 9 pm. I'm still up at 12:44. (This story explains a lot about Troae) If you don't know what happened, then you should ask me!

Disclaimer: I don't own Trowa or Gundam wing, or the song "I know" I do own Troae though! Thank you for not suing me!

This song is 'I know" by Jude. Download it or buy it! but listen to it. some of the lyrics aren't right.

And I quote "the only thing that you cant unscrew is your girlfriend." ;;;;;(O\\\

Troae sat her book bag down on the bleach white couch as she followed him into the kitchen, "You sure that it's ok?" She unbuttoned the heavy chocolate colored over-coat and shook it off of her shoulders, "Cause, I think that Hildi would let me stay with her."

Trowa looked back at her while he made his way to the fridge, "I said that it was ok." He opened the fridge and pulled out an entire carton of milk and some eggs.

Troae smiled at him, "Thanks, you're really helping."

Trowa nodded and opened the milk, "We go to the same school it really doesn't bother me." Trowa drank out of the milk carton while he fumbled with one of the eggs in his left hand. He stopped drinking and held the carton out to her, "want some?" Trowa ignored the splash of milk that had got on his brown-checkered pants that matched Troae's in pattern. His jacket and undershirt were identical to hers, the only things that would differ in the entire school, were the shoes and if you wore a skirt or pants.

Troae took the carton and drank from it making Trowa slightly frown with the thought that she should have been grossed out by it. "you know what?"

Trowa looked at her, "Hm?"

"Our jobs are kind of weird." Troae crossed her arms and sat the carton down, "Cause we have to wear those masks and stuff."

Trowa sat down at the table that was against the wall, "It's just a job." He pause and waved her to sit down next to him. "I know that there is a significance to it, but, you really shouldn't look into it." Trowa paused looking at her while she stared at her feet with a slight smile on. He sighed when he looked at her eyes and saw how lifeless they were.

_You've go such a pretty smile,_

_It's a shame all the things you hide behind it,_

Troae looked up at Trowa who was looking at her with an odd expression on his face, she looked down quickly and then looked up at him through her bangs too see that he was still looking at her, "W-what…"

Trowa sat up a little, "Pardon my asking, but why are your eyes like that?" Trowa leaned over the table slightly and lifted her chin up slightly making her eyes grow wide in almost a slight sick fear. He let her chin go and she calmed down.

"You mean, why are they like this? Like all…grayish..blue..stuff like that? And the fact that they don't catch any light?"

He nodded.

She let the color in her face fade to a sick pale blue, "I was born that way."

Trowa shook his head, "They took your life?"

Troae's eyes looked at him sharply.

Trowa smiled sadly, "No one with a smile like yours can have eyes that sad."

Troae held herself and pulled her knees up to her chest, "I don't want to talk about it."

He stood up and walked the carton of milk to the fridge, "You don't have to, but it's better to talk to someone. Even if you aren't comfortable about it." He rummaged at the bottom of the fridge and found nothing. He sighed and closed the door and turned around to see Troae with tears streaming down the sides of her face. He let his shoulders drop sadly and he walked over to her and knelt down on the floor next to her and placed his hand on her cheek, "Let it all go."

She pushed his hand against her cheek more and looked at his eyes, "You're sad too?"

Trowa smiled at her, "I can teach you how to be happy though."

She let out a pained sob and jumped into his arms making him go into a slight shock, he wasn't used to being touched by any girl other than his sister, and even that was usually a hug goody-bye or him having to carry her across the tight wire for an act. He hugged her slightly confused as to what he should do. "I promise that I wont tell anyone."

Troae looked up at him through her foggy eyes, "Ok." She let him go and sat back in the chair breathing slowly while he grabbed a box of tissues.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to." He lightly tapped her hand for reassurance, and she nodded.

_Let them go,_

_Give it up for a while,_

_Let them free and we will both go find it,_

"Hildi and Duo didn't believe me. They say that I made the story up for attention." Troae had a look of resentment in her eyes, "I was dumb to think that they would listen."

Trowa shook his head, "At least you tried. I never told anyone. My own sister doesn't know. I think that Quatre is the only one that knows about it. He cried a lot after I told him."

Troae sighed, "I worked as a solder for a while, on an Oz craft. I had these two best friends, we would hang out and stuff, we always hung out and stuff… never apart at all. Then one day…" Troae covered her mouth and sobbed loudly while tears rained from her eyes.

Trowa looked at her sadly, "Just once?"

Troae shook her head, "It was both of them, the two guys." She leaned down and heaved.

Trowa moved his chair over by her and patted her on the back, "It hurts… a lot... I know…"

Troae laid her head on his knee, "I thought that I could trust them…"

"It's a control thing. They get a thrill out of it." Trowa placed his hand on her head and softly petted her in an attempt at comforting her pain.

"Well.."

He 'hmmed', "What?"

"aren't you going to tell me that I'm lucky or something?" She looked up at him through the mess of her hair.

He shook his head, "You're not lucky. Anyone who experiences that isn't 'lucky' in any way." He smiled at her, "You have every right to be upset."

She sat up and looked at him slightly relieved, "…You aren't going to tell me that I did something wrong?"

Trowa shook his head, "No, you're a victim. Don't ever think that it was your fault."

She smiled at him through her tears, "K…"

_I know there's nowhere you can hide it,_

_I know the feeling of alone,_

He sighed, "I know that some people have it worse than others, but there isn't any reason that you should think that makes them any more special than you."

"Forgive me for asking." Troae stated, "Why are your eyes so sad?"

He looked at her with a slight bit of uneasiness, "I was about ten when it all started, and so, I couldn't really get anyone to fight for me. Most of the people…" Trowa sighed and shook his head, "They were people that I had to live with. I was in a group of mercenaries, there wasn't anything else that I could really do till I was about thirteen. I learned to fight and I finally just gave up and ran away. I never really have had a family till I met the others."

Troae wiped her eyes and swallowed to clear her throat, "I'm sorry."

Trowa smiled at her, "It's ok. It's a good thing, at least this way, you have someone that you can talk to about it. This way, you don't have to feel alone any more. I know that it hurts."

_I know that you do not feel invited,_

_But come back,_

_Come back in from the cold._

Troae lowered her head and frowned, "Sorry, I just totally ruined the evening."

He leaned over and hugged her, "No, don't worry, I would have said something if it bugged me."

Troae blushed and lightly hugged him back, "thank you."

He let her go and walked out of the kitchen beckoning her to follow, "I have to show you where you are going to be staying."

She followed him slightly in the fashion of a child in attempt to keep up with him, "Trowa wait up."

He opened the door to the room that was almost immediately next to the front door, "This way if you have to leave you wont wake me up."

Troae poked her head into the room and followed Trowa as he walked in, "This is nice… whose room is this? I really don't want to intrude."

He shook his head, "It's really alright, don't worry, remember, I said that you're welcome here. I really couldn't leave you outside. It's too cold out there."

Troae rubbed her hands together, "Oh…"

"…It was Quatres… when him and I still had our little… flings. He would stay here when he was in this colony on business. The way that things have been going, him and I don't really even get to talk that much anymore."

Troae sighed, "I know how you feel."

"hm?"

"…oh…well me and some girls…I feel sort of bad, because I have so much home work and stuff now… I really don't get to talk to them very much." Troae's voice got quieter as she talked, "Sorry… I talk too much."

Trowa shook his head, "Don't be, I like listening, Quatre was a listener so we never really talked much… it's sort of comforting to hear another voice in the house."

Troae blushed a little at the thought of being compared to Quatre.

"Why don't you hang out with your friends at lunch?" Trowa looked over at her slightly puzzled while she examined a music box.

"… I really don't have that many friends. Most of my real friends aren't even on this colony. I mean, I do have friends at that school, but I don't have lunch with them." Troae opened the music box and listened to the melancholy circus tune that played from it and smiled, "you know. I really don't have that many people that like me… cause I have sort of an attitude."

"Then you should have lunch with me and Heero some time. I'll come and get you, or we can sit with you." Trowa looked deeply at Troaes hands as she moved the things around on the dresser, "Is that ok?"

Troae nodded slightly off in another world that consisted of trinkets and ribbons, "Yeah, the only thing is that those girls don't like it when I sit with you guys."

Trowa smiled taking her hand lightly in his, "You're invited and they aren't. It's alright, tell Heero if they give you trouble."

Troae lightly obsessed over his holding her hand and she took it back, "Ok."

_Step away then from the earth,_

_Your best friend in life is not your mirror,_

Troae was sitting on the bed, Trowa had gone to cook after they had finished their homework and talked a little more. Troae had decided that she wanted to get to know the feel of the room a little better. All the little beautiful things that Quatre had left in Trowas position fascinated her. There was a wide array of gold bracelets and there were porcelain dolls that sat lifelessly on the shelves, there were music boxes that played tunes never heard and there were music sheets and instruments worth thousands. Troae had been meddling with them but not really being too involved. She placed her hand over her heart and looked down at it. He told her that it wasn't her fault, and the odd feeling about it was, she believed his words. There was something so sincere about his words that made her feel like she could trust every one of them to the last seconds of her life. She stood up and walked over to the dresser that was up against the wall closest to the front yard, it was covered in golden brushes and silver combs that only Quatre could have obtained. She undid her braid and lightly combed through her hair making it slightly change color when it became neater. She smiled at herself, "I must be pretty, if he can at least talk to me." Her sudden confidence was broken when the images of the boys that had wronged her came back into her mind. She dropped the comb and fell to her knees shaking, "I cant, I cant do that to myself." She clung tightly to herself breathing in a pace to try and calm down. She blinked a few times and then sighed as she calmed down.

"You ok?" Trowa walked in beside her reaching down to help her up, "Come on. You shouldn't stand in front of that thing. I did a lot of crying in this room."

Troae looked at the mirror and saw the edge that was repaired and slightly dabbed with blood.

"Mirrors only make you think about the past."

_Back away,_

_Come,_

_Back away,_

_Come back away,_

_Come back away,_

_Come back away,_

_Come back away,_

Trowa sat on the heaven beige couch that was in the smaller living room and stared blankly at the TV while Troae flipped through the channels, "What do you usually watch?"

"The news. That's really all the interest me. Most of the time I'm at work. I usually don't stay here."

Troae sat down the remote after shutting off the TV and sighed, "Well, what now?" She held her knees to her chest and sighed, "I'm board."

Trowa looked over at her smiling slightly. She looked at him blushing a little.

"Why are you looking at me?"

He shrugged, "I'm trying to figure that out."

She sighed and tilted her head, "you don't talk a lot at school, but… you talk a lot around me… why?"

Trowa looked at her while she chewed slightly on her nails, "I really don't know…maybe there is something about you."

They both sat quietly on the curved couch, separated and slightly in thought. There was a long unbroken silence between the two till the disturbing ring on Troae's phone went off, "Oh.." She reached down and picked it out of her book bag, "Da?"

Trowa slightly poked at the rest of the food on his plate and then pushed it to the side figuring that it wouldn't please him anymore, "Who is it?" he interrupted.

Troae held a finger up, "hang on…yeah…no.. I'm at…but…" She groaned deeply and handed Trowa the phone, "It's my mom and then call Duo, and he wants to talk to."

Trowa reluctantly took the phone, "Hello, this is Trowa…"

The person on the other end spoke, "Hi Trowa? This is Rachel, Duo and Troae's mom. Um, yes, Troae tells me that she's staying at your house this weekend. Is that true?"

"…yes it is…"

"…mmmm hmmm. And where exactly do you live?"

"Colony L3, in the northern sector for solders that have retired from the war….it's a white house, one story…black gate upfront that says Barton on it."

Rachel paused for a moment and spoke again, "Are your parents home?"

Trowa held the phone away from his face for a moment and spoke to Troae in Russian, which simply amounted to, 'She wants to talk to my parents.' "Do you speak Russian?"

Rachel sighed, "Well no I don't, could you just tell them that Troae is supposed to come home?"

Trowa sighed and spoke to himself in inaudible English, "Yes…"

Rachel cleared her throat and 'hmm'ed . "Well Trowa it was nice talking to you. Bye bye."

Trowa pressed a button then dialed another number, let it ring then answered, "Yes…what is it?"

Duo spoke loudly and quickly, "Yeah, um, what's going on?"

"…she got kicked out."

Duo groaned and bit his lip, "Ok then…. I'll cover and keep my mom away, and she's a little weird right now. ..Hey… you keep your hands off her, yah hear me?"

Trowa blushed and nodded, "Yeah ok.."

"Later."

Trowa flipped the Phone shut and handed it back to Troae who had her head slightly tilted.

"Why are you so…quite around other people.?"

He shrugged, "I think its cause you're different."

_I am here and I will be forever,_

_And ever,_

Trowa stood in his room looking out the back window where the storm was rolling in over the surf of the man made ocean on the colony. He picked up a locket that had his initials inscribed on it. He sighed and put it in his pocket, "I'm so confused." He looked up when he heard the door creak. "Hey…"

Troae slightly backed away until he waved her in, She smiled at his gray bed and the TV that was across from it, "You have a better room than mine."

Trowa shrugged, "Yours is more serene." Trowa pointed out the window to the back yard, "You haven't seen it yet have you?"

Troae leaned over the window table and looked out to see that yard, it was at least half a mile to the water that connected the two houses to the bay of the ocean, "Can we walk out there?"

Trowa shrugged, "I don't see why not." He put a jacket on over his already layered outfit and handed Troae one too, she threw it too the side and smiled.

"Don't need it, I'm used to the cold."

They walked out across the yard leaving Trowa's safety of the house. Troae instantly became fascinated by the storm clouds that were rolling along the shore towards the house, "Looks like we're in for rain." Trowa nodded and pointed to a barn that sat off to the left side of the back yard.

"I should have horses there, but right now, Cathy is taking care of them for me. She's training them."

Troae looked over at Trowa sadly, "You're quieter…"

He paused for a moment and then smiled, "A little aren't I?"

She nodded and frowned, "You need to be more opinionated, and you're making me feel uneasy, like I made you mad or something."

He shook his head, "I'm not don't worry, hey, you know what we can go do?"

She shrugged, "I'm up for anything."

He reluctantly grabbed her hand and walked her toward the barn. She followed at a slower pace and ended up in a jog, "The rock." Trowa used his other hand to point to a rock that sat under what looked like a one hundred year old tree that spanned at least twenty feet higher than the barn. It's branches spread out enough to serve as a makeshift umbrella. The rock was at last tree feet off the ground and ten feet across. Trowa let go of her hand and jumped onto the gray rock playfully. He sat down and then pulled her up so she sat right next to him.

She sighed, "Why does Catharine hate me?" She scooted over a little when her shoulder bumped Trowas.

Trowa rubbed his shoulder slightly embarrassed, "She doesn't hate you. She's just my sister, she's being protective. That's really all, she isn't trying to be mean. She just doesn't want me to get hurt, and she doesn't want me to hurt you either." Trowa smirked and hugged his knees keeping a smile on his face, "She would have my tail if I hurt you."

Troae blushed a little more and leaned up to look at his face, "What do you mean protecting us?"

Trowa leaned back and put his hands behind him to support himself, "Well…."he paused and thought about it, "Maybe she doesn't want us fighting."

Troae shook her head, "Nah, she just wants me gone. She doesn't want you around me."

Trowa looked over at her and sighed, "I'm always gonna be here."

Troae looked up at him, "What?"

Trowa turned and faced her, "I'm going to be here for ever. I'll protect you."

_And I…_

_I know there's nowhere you can hide it,_

_I know the feeling of alone,_

_Trust me and don't keep that on the inside,_

_Soon you,_

_You'll be locked out on your own._

Troae looked at her hands again and mashed her fingers together, "Um…" She rolled her head to the side slightly trying to avoid looking at his eyes, "What are you going to protect me from?"

Trowa sighed and frowned, "I want to protect us from being lonely."

Troae stood up and walked off the edge of the rock toward the water not saying anything. Trowa sat for a moment and cursed himself, "Troae wait." He jumped up and jogged up to her slowing down when he saw that she was holding her face, he slowed down even more when he realized that she wasn't sad, or angry, she was just a little red. "I…I'm sorry Troae I didn't mean to.."

She reached over and grabbed his arm and hugged to it, "It's alright Trowa." She smiled sadly, "Don't hurt me though ok?"

Trowa smiled and nodded, "I wont. I can't let that happen to me again."

They walked out to the water slowly and by the time that they had got there Trowa had calmed down a bit and he had his arm around her shoulders. Troae took off in a sprint and ran to the edge of the wet sand and stopped to take off her shoes. She quickly kicked them off and ran into the water laughing. Trowa stood on the edge smiling at her. "Get in!"

Trowa shook his head, "It's gonna be cold on the way back. I don't want to freeze to death."

"It's only like a five or ten minute walk from here." Troae put her hands on her hips and glared at him till a wave knocked her over and landed her in the water. Trowa laughed at her as she ran out shivering, "That wasn't funny!" She gasped at him until she realized that he wasn't going to give up.

"I…I'm sorry.." Trowa had his hand over his face and was slightly red.

"…you're cute when you laugh…." Troae lowered her head to look at him while he tried to control the little bit of laughter that he had left. He turned around and hid his face from her while he settled down.

"Sorry." He said smirking, "I got a little carried away." He turned back to her and smiled at her with a slight chuckle, "What were you saying?"

Troae was still looking on him with a bit of amazement, "I…think you're cute…"

Trowa paused at her comment feeling a little confused, "..what?"

She hid her face as it started to turn a dark red, "…when you laugh, you're really cute ok?" She took a few steps back and headed toward the house in a sprint.

_You're not alone…._

_You're not alone…_

_And don't say, _

_You've never been told,_

Trowa made it up to the house by himself after about ten minutes. He looked around the house just to check if she hadn't gone to her room. When he came up to her door it was locked. He paused before knocking and leaned his head against the door, "…ok.." He knocked lightly but to no avail. "Hey Troae?" Trowa spoke in a soft but normal tone.

"…what…" Troae's voice as quiet almost to a point that if there was another person in the house that he wouldn't have heard her.

"You ok?" Trowa asked lightly. It was quiet for a while.

"you hate me don't you?" She stated.

"Why would…" Trowa sighed, "Can we talk? About anything. I just don't want to sit out here alone all night."

"Fine…think of something." She barked quietly.

"….what's it like… having a family?" Trowa sat down out side of the door listening to her.

"It's ok… I guess, mine is kind of weird though." She sighed, "Like my parents are always kind of busy and stuff."

"You and Cathy are the only family that I really have." Trowa softly muttered to himself and sighed. Suddenly he fell backwards as the door opened. Troae looked down on him and then jumped back a few steps when he covered his eyes and pointed that he could significantly see up her skirt. "Why am I your family?"

Trowa stood up and brushed his hair with his hand, "Has your dad or mom or Duo ever said they loved you?"

Troae nodded, "A lot more when I was little, but they've said it."

"…What if nobody ever told you that they loved you?"

Troae paused, "…I dunno."

Trowa leaned over and hugged her tightly, "I love you."

_I'll be with you till we grow old,_

_Till I'm in the ground and I'm cold,_

_I'm not sitting here on some throne._

Troae felt her heart skip a beat as he held her, "…hu?" She looked at his head lying on her shoulder. "Are you crying?" Troae moved some of his hair out of the way to see tears slowly coming down the sides of his face.

"yeah…"

Troae hugged him back and bit her lower lip, "I'm sorry I got mad."

Trowa shook his head and sat up, "No, it's ok. Um you should get changed, I don't want you sick. You're clothes are all wet." Trowa let her go and walked over to the smaller closet and pulled out a blue robe, "Wear this for now."

Troae shrugged and put it on while he was looking for something for her to wear.

"Oh, here." He pulled out a pair of pajamas that had sliver stripes and black buttons on blue fabric. "They should fit you."

Troae smiled when Trowa turned around and blushed, "….uh.."

"I changed in here, it doesn't matter." Troae took the pajamas from him and handed him her wet uniform, "Can you wash these?"

He nodded and left the room with a red face.

Trowa came back in and smiled when he saw her rolling the pajamas up so they fit her, "They are too big." Trowa walked up behind her and helped her roll them up.

"There yah go."

Troae held a brush out to Trowa and smiled, "can you brush my hair?"

Trowa took the brush and nodded. Troae ran into his room and sat in front of his bed, "In here cause you have a TV."

Trowa smiled and sighed, "K… coming." Trowa sat down on his bed and undid the mess that her hair now was. "You should probably take a shower before I brush it."

She shook her head and smirked, "I took one when you were walking back."

Trowa blushed and nodded, "oh…alright." He sat quietly brushing her hair and listening to her talk for about half an hour till he finished and made her hair into two separate braids that ran down either shoulder. Troae looked back at him and smiled, "Thank you… for everything."

_I'll be with you till we're both gone,_

_Like a dog you can always come home, _

_Dig up a bone,_

_Look around……_

"You're always welcome here."

Troae stood up and sat next to him on his bed. She leaned her head on his shoulder and smiled, "I like being here."

Trowa smiled and put his hand on the back of her neck. The lights then flashed as the storm from outside finally kicked in. Troae squealed when the lights went out. Trowa blushed when she clung to the front of his shirt. "..Hang on, I'll go check the fuse box. I have to change my clothes anyways." Trowa stood up and shook himself loose from Troae who went and looked out the window at the bright storm.

Trowa proceeded and flipped all the fuses and got no result. He went back upstairs and went into his closet and found his blue shirt with the red and black pants. "K hon… it's like eleven, I have to get to sleep."

Trowa walked over and pulled Troae up off of the bed, "Sorry but you have to go and sleep in your bed."

Troae hugged Trowa tightly and walked out of the room with a little bit of a skip in her step, "Thank you Trowa."

Trowa smiled, "Night Troae. Oh, and hey, if anyone tells you that you don't have the right to sit with me in lunch come Monday, tell them you've known me for two years." Troae nodded and closed his door on her way out.

Troae smiled as she cuddled the little Lion plush that was on the pillow as she softly drifted off to sleep. That was until she felt a slightly obsessive poking that woke her up.

"hey.." Trowa shook her a little to help her get up.

Troae sat up a little when Trowa sat down on the edge of the bed, "Trowa…what are you. Doing? I was asleep."

Trowa moved her over a little and crawled under the covers with her. "I'm staying in here this is my house."

Troae smiled slightly, and kissed him on the cheek, "Alright, no funny stuff though."

Trowa paused at the little kiss and then comprehended what she had said then smiled, "Don't worry…oh hey Troae…"

Troae cocked her head a little like she always did, "hm?"

Trowa pulled her chin up slightly and kissed her, "Night."

Trowa lied down and went to sleep leaving Troae in a slight bit of a daze. Finally she smiled and fell asleep with her arms around him, "I love you too."


End file.
